Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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