I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
