The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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