Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
