That's intense
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
