Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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