quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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