What a fucking waste of an outfit
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
