some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
