Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
