Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
