Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
