I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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