ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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