I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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