I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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