We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
