I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
