I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
