At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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