i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
