happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
