he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
