i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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