The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
now i know why i became what i already was.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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