Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
