He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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