You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
