i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
