Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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