I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
