Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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