I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
