how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
