He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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