So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize