Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
