so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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