I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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