I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
