Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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