420 ftw
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
