i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
