Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
