You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Operation Purity has been aborted
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize