So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize