I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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