So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
