just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
