so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
