you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
