what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
