handjob tips. give me some.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize