Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
