I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
