I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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