I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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