I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Randomize
