Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
