I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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