I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
