Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
