I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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