Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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