Im at strip club and am horny
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize