Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
