So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize