New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
