i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
