I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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