Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
