I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
