I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize