ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
