Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize